Peanut Butter...

There is something about the creamy, sticky, gooey-ness of peanut butter that makes me want to run for my life. I can hear my few readers turning their backs on me now, but wait! I promise this does not make me a freak! It just means I would prefer a Crunch Bar instead of a Reese's!

I wouldn't go as far to say I'm an arachibutyrophobe (one who fears getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of one's mouth), but rather a celebrator of the finer things in life: chocolate, lemonade, strawberry shortcake... hungry yet?

Have you ever wondered what could possibly make someone fear getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouth? The feeling alone sends goosebumps down my arms, but not enough to pull myself into a fetal position, close my eyes, and hope it goes away. I read a book my brother brought home about the many things humans fear, and it posed a pretty good point:

Imagine you're eating a big peanut butter sandwich, happily smiling to yourself because you think peanut butter is so amazing, when suddenly the phone rings out. You try to remove the peanut butter from your mouth, but it's pretty darn stuck, so you pick up the phone anyway. The man on the other end says in a cheerful and overly pushed voice, "Congratulations! You've just won a chance to win your own private island! All you have to do is answer this question: what state is the capital of America?" You get excited! You know this!!! You squeal out the answer you know is right, but all that comes out is, "Wabintung!" Oh no! You can't get it out! The darn peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth makes it impossible to utter a single word. Panicked, you repeat yourself again, "Wabingtong, Lubentun, WABINTUNG!!!" But the voice on the other end still can't understand you. Finally, he hangs up, murmuring something about you being crazy. And guess what. You still have peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth!

I can understand how that would be frightening to some. That's why I am so glad to move on the the Christmas season where peanut butter is left behind to make way for mints and hot cocoa. But, maybe someday, Someone will find just the right way to serve peanut butter without endangering the chance at a private island.